Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Boy did this hit home!

This is very long -- but please read it -- you will see what we in rescue get as phone messages and they also come like this in emails too. This wasn't written by me but it was sent to me from a friend who does Mal Rescue. The sad thing is, ARWNY has had almost exactly every call listed here -- even the one about the change of decor!! How sad is this world today????

A Rescuer's Answering Machine- Any town- USA

Hello: You have reached 123-4567, Tender Hearts Rescue. Due to the high volume of calls we have been receiving, please listen closely to the following options and choose the one that best describes you or your situation:

Press 1 if you have a 10-year-old dog and your 15-year-old son has suddenly become allergic and you need to find the dog a new home right away.
Press 2 if you are moving today and need to immediately place your dog & human aggressive 150 pound, 8-year-old dog.
Press 3 if you have a dog, had a baby and want to get rid of your dog because you are the only person in the world to have a baby and a dog at the same time.
Press 4 if you just got a brand new puppy and your old dog is having problems adjusting so you want to get rid of the old one right away.
Press 5 if your little puppy has grown up and is no longer small and cute so you want to trade it in for a new model.
Press 6 if you want an unpaid volunteer to come to your home TODAYand pick up the dog you no longer want.
Press 7 if you have been feeding and caring for a "stray" for the last three years, are moving and suddenly determine it's not your dog.
Press 8 if your dog is sick and needs a vet but you need the money for your vacation.
Press 9 if you are elderly & want to adopt a cute puppy who is active & is going to outlive you.
Press 10 if your relative has died and you don't want to care of their elderly dog because it doesn't fit your lifestyle.
Press 11 if you are calling at 6 a.m. to make sure you wake me up before I have to go to work so you can dump your dog off on your way to work.
Press 12 to leave us an anonymous garbled message, letting us know you have left a dog in our yard in the middle of January, which is in fact better than just leaving the dog with no message.
Press 13 if you are going to get angry because we are not going to take your dog that you have had for fifteen years & euthanize it for you, because it is not our responsibility.
Press 14 if you are going to threaten to take your 12 year old dog to be euthanized because I can't take it to find it a home.
Press 15 if you're going to get angry because a volunteer had the audacity to go on vacation & you can't reach someone who is authorized to take your pet off your hands.
Press 16 if you want one of our PERFECTLY trained, housebroken, kid and cat friendly purebred dogs that we have an abundance of.
Press 17 if you want us to take your dog that has a slight aggression problem, i.e. has only bitten a few people & family members, and killed your neighbor's cats.
Press 18 if you have already called once and been told we don't take personal surrenders but thought you would get a different person this time with a different answer.
Press 19 if you want us to use space that would go to a stray to board your personal dog while you are on vacation, free of charge, of course.
Press 20 if it is Christmas Eve or Easter morning and you want me to deliver an eight week old puppy to your house by 6:30 am before your kids wake up.
Press 21 if you have bought your children a duckling, chick or baby bunny for Easter and your dog is trying to kill it so you want to dump the dog on rescue.
Press 22 if you want us to take your female dog who has already had ten litters, but we can't spay her because she is pregnant again and it is against your beliefs to spay her.
Press 23 if you're lying to make one of our newer volunteers feel bad and take your personal pet off your hands.
Press 24 if your dog has severe health issues that mean you have to give him pills or shots & it makes you "squeamish" to do so, and want to dump him in rescue for someone else to handle.
Press 25 if your two year old male dog is marking all over your house but you just haven't gotten around to having him neutered.
Press 26 if you have an outdoor only unspayed dog and are calling because she is suddenly pregnant.
Press 27 if you have done "everything" to housebreak your dog and have had no success but you don't want to crate the dog because it is cruel so you want to dump it on us instead.
Press 28 if you didn't listen to the message asking for an evening phone number and you left your work number when all volunteers are also working and you are angry because no one called you back.
Press 29 if you need a puppy immediately and cannot wait because today is your daughter's birthday and you want the puppy NOW this minute.
Press 30 if your dog's coat doesn't match your new furniture and you need a different color or breed.
Press 31 if your new love doesn't like your dog and you are too stupid to get rid of the new friend (who will dump you in the next month anyway) instead of the dog.
Press 32 if you went through all these 'options' and didn't hear enough. This press will connect you to the sounds of tears being shed by one of our volunteers who is holding a discarded old dog while the vet mercifully frees him from the grief of missing his family.

Author Unknown

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